So I started reading my book on my iPad after a few putts on golf putt pro (set a new personal best). WHEN a nurse came through with a porter at 8:30am saying the emergency wasn't ready (screams of no, no, down the corridor), I was whisked along a number of corridors feeling like a toddler enjoying a fast push pram ride.
When I reached the anaesthetist he tried to put a needle into a vein in my right hand only to fail!
"Sorry about that:S Oh that will come out in quite a bruise tomorrow!",
'gee thanks I thought'
He eventually got it in and gave me the general anaesthetic. I got to the count of 7 before lights out and the land of nod.
When I woke up a lovely nurse called Nuha said to me in a lovely soft voice (Irish voice)
"Are you awake John? Shall I go and make you some buttery toast and a cup of tea?".
It was like I was prancing through a summer meadow, she could not have said anything sweeter if she tried:)
Waiting back on ward 3 room 2 on my own after the best toast and tea of my life, a male nurse called Steven came to see me to inform me that the physio would be along in 20 minutes to run through some exercises so that I could be discharged. He took my blood pressure, which was low and asked Nuha to make me another tea to try and increase it and bring some colour back into my Lilly White face.
After the tea of dreams take 2, my blood pressure was higher and Steven was happy.
Queue the Scottish physio. she entered the room very cautiously. I was puzzled! When I glanced at her eyes they had fear in them and she couldn't look me in the eye. So I asked her straight out.
"Are you ok pet?"
She replied, "to be honest I was worried when I saw your name on my list:("
I suddenly put 2 and 2 together and like her came up with 666 a scary number as she thought I was the renowned Geordie Gangster JOHN SAYERS! We had a laugh and a joke about it and after watching me excel on the crutches that she brought for me (years of practice with broken, feet, legs, knee ops) she left with a very large sigh of relief that felt like she was exhaling a huge breath after consuming a Narga Chilli!
Queue Steven to run through my discharge papers, procedures, medication, outpatient appointments, stitches removal appointment, bathing instructions, physio appointment, letter to my local GP nurse, letter to my GP......AND medication again (30 minutes later) I was ready to go.... "WAIT go and pass urine please!"
When I returned exhausted at having to listen to my next 6 weeks of rehabilitation Steven brought in the MOTHER of all PEE takes!!!! Oh yes and your consultant has asked for you to wear these for 6 weeks to avoid deep vein thrombosis...... A PAIR OF STOCKINGS!!!!! HONEST!
And that has been my hospital adventure for the day. Well half day as I was discharged at 12:51pm.
To finish i have to mention the incredible NHS staff who treated me. They were professional, thorough, kind, pleasant, and made my nervous day not so. TOP JOB THANK YOU:)